A Girl In The Den
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The Music Beer-and-Nachos Is Playing:
{Honky Tonk Badonkadonk} ||-|| { Songs About Me } ||-|| {Trace Adkins}
||-|| Suggestions : ||-|| ||-|| : Comments ||-||

My blog is worth $16,936.20.
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||-- The Coffee Table --||
(The Den's eZine Story Collection)
||-Bedside Reads-||
||-Writings Of RemittanceGirl-||

||-- The Bar --||
||-Politics and Gov't Night-||
||-Poetry Night-||
||-Sexy Tomatoes-||
||-- Beer Nuts --||

||-- Couch Stainers --||
||-Big Dick-||
||-Chick (& Dick [MIA])-||
||-derek s.-||
||-Mike (#1)-||
||-Mr. Smithereen-||

||-- Couch Potatos --||
||-El Sid-||
||-Zeus, Big Dick's Cat-||

||-- The Dark Corner --||
( 18+ )
||-Three Boobs-||

||-- On Beer Run --||
||-Big Fan-||
||-Mike (#2)-||
||-Rattl'n along-||
||-The Furnace-||

||-- JukeBox Review --||

||-Blaine Larsen-||
-How Do You Get That Lonely-

-Lolipop Porn Bitch-

||-Dresden Dolls-||
-Girl Anachronism-
-Miss Me-
-The Perfect Fit-

||-Jeff Bates-||
-My Inlaws Are Outlaws-

||-Kelly Clarkson-||


||-Marilyn Manson-||
-Sweet Dreams-

-Next Contestant-

||-Nine Inch Nails-||

||-Peter Gabriel-||
-Signal To Noise-

||-Toby Keith-||
-Taliban Song-
-Weed With Willie-

||-Tony C & The Truth-||

||-Trace Adkins-||
-(Love Me Like There's) No Tomorrow-
-Honky Tonk Badonkadonk-

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||- Beer-and-Nachos Supports CLICK -||

Dear "Paco",

If you would be kind enough to pay for the plane ticket to her hometown, I will go kick her ass. Until then, FUCK OFF!

For the rest of you, if you would like directions to my "new" blog, email me.

x Beer-and-Nachos

Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I hate to do this....

Y'all know I hate up'n'moving.

Especially knowing what it took before I left last time and came here.

Well, this time, my moving has been caused by one lovely little bitch of a wife of one of my more devout readers. Yes, she is the one and same as the previous posts.

Only now, she has gone so far as to harass me, not only on AIM, but on my own blog as well.

It is too much of a hassle to ban her IP because she comes right back on another. I do believe I have banned three so far. I'm tired of it and I don't want to play any games anymore.

My site will be moving in a few days. This domain will stay active, the posts will become invisible, and only those I know and trust will gain access to the new.

And to the lady who believes that she may have won, I do hope your husband realizes how much of a bitch you are to a complete stranger and leaves you. I hope he takes your beloved dogs with him and you lose your beauty--you know, the abundant bounty you seem to think I could ever compete with. I didn't mind the AIM, but the comments were too much. Enough, I think, that I *could* take you to court for harassment, but I don't want to bother with someone like you.

To my lovely and devout readers, I leave punishment to this lady up to you. [HERE] is her buzznet. I am not saying harass her, I'm just saying you should know who was responsible for my departure once again.


x Beer-and-Nachos


....I'm still alive, busy going insane...

((being unemployed has me lost as to what to do!))

...Again, I'm in the process of a HUGE post. Therefore, I leave you with some artwork I created last night!

And I will return with a long long long post.


Friday, December 09, 2005

And now for the long ass post you've been dying to read....

I hinted about a week ago at a bomb that would detonate anytime and throw my household into complete chaos.

Well, it happened. Sunday.

It was a normal day about the Den, loud and full of screaming siblings. I had spent the day grocery shopping to escape, racking up a grand total, and new record, $140.40 -- not including the four or five things on the list I had forgotten (keep in mind I budget shop--store brands that are WAY less than half the price of name-brands...so you KNOW I had a lot to get). I was getting set to walk out for a movie with C, still had about fourty minutes or so before we absolutely had to leave, when my dad walked into the office to ask me to hop off the computer and run and grab him some honey-barbeque tenders from the Neighborhood Market Deli behind the house. I weigh my chances of surviving another hour of family bickering and jetted out to my car.

Roughly fifteen minutes later, after buying the remaining HBBQ tenders, I pulled into the driveway. It's cool out, maybe 45*F or so, and I take my time getting out of the car. Through the back gate, past the bobbing duck in the pool, and into the pool of light from the back sliding door.

Fuck. She's there, on the couch, in tears. My sister had obviously dropped the bomb.

And the guy...do I call him a war-hero or a dumbass for coming NEAR my dad with this?

I'll go with dumbass because he's 17/18 and he knocked up a girl not yet legal.

I hesitated on going inside; with a dad like mine, wouldn't YOU? I got up the nerve, stepped in, and froze. All eyes were glued to me. I lifted my hand holding the chicken, said "food", and made WIDE STEPS to the kitchen.

After depositing the bag on the counter, I went into the office. My house has no doors ('cepting to the bathrooms and bedrooms) and has quite an open structure, so leaving my music on low, I honed in on the conversation. It wasn't like the parentals were yelling and screaming; no, it was much worse--it was the low calm voice that sends chills down your spine. Hearing that from my dad is bad enough, but TAME compared to my mom--and she's usually the one you would normally prefer to piss off! I grabbed my phone and immediately texted C--"pick me up NOW!"


However, things have turned out quite differently than expected. She's on permanent house arrest--until she graduates and is then homebound to care for the baby. HE is dutifully bound to stick by her side (*my* father's orders)--and has even proclaimed that things will work out.

Too much of an optimist.

And I'm shocked dad let him live--let alone allow him near the house again. Yes, he has been over to the house more times in two weeks than C has in three years--legit visits, people, legit visits. Something ain't right.
Yet no matter how much they joke and carry on now, there's an undertone that I pick up on. It causes more fighting than ever. My current jobless state does not make it easy at all for me to escape.

Sickening Pain.

The post I've been working on for three days will be postponed AGAIN.

My throat hurts.

I can't talk.

I can't drink my tea.

Everything tastes funny.

I'm gonna finish my last day here and GO HOME.

I'll update later.

Thursday, December 08, 2005
Pizza Hut Rant:

BEFORE the HUGE post of what's been up, let me rant.

A company (pizza hut) has recently come between ME and FOOD. In a VERY poor way.

We here at work didn't want to go out to eat in the cold. We decided to order in. Pizza. From Pizza Hut. Quick, online order, with printout confirmation that it will arrive in roughly 30mins. This was just before 11:30am.

12:15 rolls around and no pizza. I cut the delivery boy slack based on the cold air and the fact that nobody knows how to drive, especially here, especially with the "ice" on the roads. We call up the place and get the "Oh, we're not doing online orders today" speech. Then we inquire as to why they couldn't call us BEFORE we waited an hour. They had no response. We asked how long it would take to have the order processed at that moment and delivered. "Oh, well, we've got over 300 pizzas to cook, it will be two hours before we have it ready for the oven."


Cancelled the order and shopped around. Pizza Inn was taking over Pizza Hut's slack--and was only mass producing thin crust, not even going to custom make the hand tossed or deep dish.


Domino's--the expensive bastards--was the only other near pizza joint. Called, and YES! they had the hand tossed goodness we were craving. Cost twice as much as Pizza Hut, but from my seat, it was worth it. AND they'd have it IN MY HANDS in less than an hour. $42.somethingerother for three large pizzas.

About thirty minutes later the operator calls us down--PIZZA'S HERE!!!

Wait...the total on this reciept is $26.24...something's not right....there, at the top, in black carbon were two words I was not thrilled with: PIZZA HUT. Fuck, dude, you are WAY OVER the 30minute quote (by almost two hours), so I should have these for free--excepting that I already cancelled this order, a slight technicality. He walked out pissed at me.

What right does he have to be pissed at me? I have all the right in the world to be pissed at his company, not just him.

Not only that, but they have charged my card, even though it was cancelled. "Oh, we don't show a credit card being used" Bullfuckingshit. It was online you fucktard! "Well, this order was cancelled, so by the time it goes through it will be voided anyhow." If you get ANY of my money, I will sue! UNDERSTAND!?!?!!?

Luckily Domino's pulled through ON TIME. Expensive as hell, but damn worth it. Actually, I think they were a few minutes earlier than their one hour quote....

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

I'm either bored or have nothing to post right now or am creating a LONG ass post....

This survey was taken Saturday, December 3, 2005.

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your friends. Okay here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be lame and spoil the fun!  Just copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste into a new email that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you. Some of you may get this several times...that means you have lots of friends.
1. What is your occupation?    Draftsman
2. What color is your underwear? For once, white.
3. What are you listening to right now?My mind replay Trace Adkins' "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"
4.  What was the last thing you ate?   Cookie (don't tell my boyfriend)
5. Do you wish on stars?    The last time I saw a shooting star, it gave me bad luck. Triple the bad luck because I saw one each morning for three days.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? A new one.
7. How is the weather right now?    In the office or outside? It's ice in here, but ohhhh so nice outside! 
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?  Mickey.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you?   Would I fill it out if I didn't?
10. How old are you today? (I'm gonna be a smartass...) A day older than yesterday. :)
11. Favorite drink? Right now: Pepsi.
12. Favorite sport to watch?Football--just now getting really hard into hockey, so soon that'll be a close call... .
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? If you can't tell....then my answer's no.
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses?  No. Probably should though....
15. Pets? A spoiled, "mama"'s boy, runt-of-the-litter, surviver-of-four-attempted-homicides-by-his-own-mother, grey and brown, year and a half old tabby
16. Favorite month? Am I allowed twelve answers?.
17. Favorite food?  Anything that doesn't upset my ulcer :(
18. What was the last movie you watched?  In theaters or at home? Pride and Prejudice or Woman on Top (i think that's what its called....and, no it wasn't porn...pervs)
19. Favorite time of the year?  Tomorrow. Because you can get SO much more done tomorrow than you can today! ;P
20. What do you do to vent anger? What anger?
21. Favorite toy as a childProductive toy or security toy? Productive would be my imagination and security would be my koala bear.
22. Spring or fall?   spring :)
23. Hugs or kisses? Hugs. Kisses are for the special people.
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Neither--STRAWBERRY :P
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? If they want...  
26. Who is most likely to respond?  *shrug*
27. Who is least likely to respond? *shrug*
28. Living arrangements? Looking for an apartment to share with my boyfriend / future fiance *crosses fingers*
29. When was the last time you cried? Classified.
30. What is on the floor of your closetI have floor???
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Who claims me? :-P
32. What did you do last night?   Was on the "punishment" list until I did 20 crunches.
33. Favorite smell?   C. His cologne, body wash, aftershave, deoderant, etc mixed on his body is sooooo intoxicating.....
34. What inspires you?  Nature
35. What are you afraid of?  Men.
36. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?   Extra cheesy slop :)
37. Favorite car?    I want (keep in mind I haven't really looked much lately, been literally hiding under a rock) a 2003 Convertible Dodge Viper, Sports Edition, silver, red leather interior, bucket-racing seats, full chrome (I speet on your plah-steek *patooey*), adjustable pedals (y'know, I *is* shert legged), tilt steering, multi-disk remote controlled cd changer below seat....shall I continue?
38. Favorite dog breed? German Shepard.
39. Number of keys on your key ring?  5. Should be 7. Soon to be a few more.
40. How many years at your current job? This JOB has been about 4mos; this PROFESSION has been about 3yrs.
41. Favorite day of the week?  Whatever day I can get some rest. 
42. How many states have you lived in? two.
43. How many cities have you lived in?  Four.

Monday, December 05, 2005
Dangerous Thoughts {long}

My thoughts recently have me scared half to death. A lot of them revolve around two things: a dream I had Saturday night and death.

Let me just say, first of all, if you don't have an open mind, stop reading and go play somewhere else. These are my inner demon thoughts that I've lived with since I was little--and no innocent child under the age of 50 should have to think of them; but I do.

I am a knowledge hungry person. I seek it out. I indulge in it. Books are my best friend. Theoretical Physics was my intended major. Theocracy has repulsed me. I am skeptical of "divine-intervention".

I want to believe God created Earth and all living things, but how? It's not possible from a logic standpoint, though I know religion isn't based on logic. I want to believe in the "big bang theory", but that makes no sense either....how did all those particles come about that created the right gaseous state that started the kaboom that formed the necessary atoms that created what has evolved into what we now know?

I guess the thing is, I can't fathom a nothingness to precede us all. It's this same nothingness I see for death; I just can't imagine it. Afterlife? It doesn't quite seem possible. I want to believe so bad that there is, but what proof do we have? Ninety-nine percent of the mediums I've met and/or seen have been false, and/or scam artists after money. I do still try to believe, though. I'm just finding it hard.

From this I can say it's not death I fear, it's uncertainty I fear. I don't want to dissolve back into nothingness, if in fact that is where I came from. I get a dead-cold feeling when I think about it, about death, about old age, about the future.

I'm scared of this recent movement to get an apartment with C. It's something I've been longing for, but now that it's staring me in the face, I'm getting cold feet. It's another step closer to death, I'm getting older, I'm stepping into the future, and I still have no answers as to what lays beyond.

I had a dream on Saturday night that scared the shit out of me. It's not uncommon for me to have a completely realistic dream and remember it, but usually those are just that--dreams and fantasy. This one wasn't. It involved C and me and a baby. I saw our boy as perfect as can be, and can still see him if I close my eyes. And C too, the first moment he saw us; he'd arrived late, too late to be of any help, but stopped just inside the doorway. He looked uncertain as to how to move on, should he come in, yet there was a silent, fearful pride too. And the baby...so small yet so strong...his wild whisps of blonde nearly white offset by the most beautiful big blue-grey eyes....

It hurts my chest to remember it. Pain of love. He looked so much like C, yet so independant too.

I can still see them both, there, in front of me, on the beach of that lake. Spitting image of perfection in father holding son.

But it was only a dream. A life-like dream. A dream that is haunting me. I don't know if it's haunting me of what never will be or what I deeply desire and want yet cannot reach yet.

But I do know that moving forward scares me and will scare me until I know for certain what lies ahead.

Just as with death, I will be scared until the moment arises--unless I can find knowledge of what is to come. Does that make sense?

It is written in the Bible (don't ask me where, I've lost track of bookmarks and memory verses) that a man seeking life will find death and a man seeking death shall find life. It is not this I live by, it is just something that I remembered while writing this. I seek answers to death, yet I find none. It is the same for life. I am too greedy for knowledge to focus my engergies to one or the other. Which, at this time, is leaving me frustrated and scared.

I have had thoughts similar to all this since I awoke from that dream Sunday morning. It scared me so much because I awoke about four times during the night and each time I fell right back to sleep in the exact same point in the dream I'd left off. I was scared to go back to sleep by about the fifth time--so much so I made myself fall out of bed so I could stagger down the stairs for some water.

The memory of that dream haunted me all day and I had chills. C took me to see Aeon Flux Sunday night. That movie, in the state of mind I was in...not the best mix.

Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful movie! I loved it from all standpoints. But what I got from that movie is something I'm not sure was on the original agenda of the moviemakers: love survives death and in a way, there is life after death.

I really don't know if I'm saying everything the way I want to say it, or getting it across the way I want to, but it's out now. Maybe somebody will actually pay attention and possibly understand. I tried to tell this to C, get him to understand, but he wasn't listening to a word I was saying. Thought I was caught up in the "love" portion of the movie, the baby boom of my friends/relatives, and holding too tightly to us moving in together.

In Response....

It's not out of character for me to post things like that last post, which is why it shocked me when I got asked the question why I never posted men-artisticnudes (porn) for women.

Let me say a few things here....

1) Most women aren't visually stimulated.
2) There is nothing about a male's nether-region anatomy that does anything for me other than physically.
3) I, like most women I know, am stimulated by using my imagination, thus Literotica and romance novels are my best friend.
4) That's what Avatar and Shay are for on my sidebar
5) My readers are predominately male--why should they see something they see (and wank) everyday?

...Not to mention that if I were to post up photos of the male anatomy, there would be a lot of closeups on abs, arms, and necks, (or all at once) the three most tantilizing features (when properly maintained) to me (unless you count a nice ass in wranglers....). But I'm content to sit and drool over my one picture of C that he has ever sent me (ok, so he sent me two, but the other was the afore mentioned worthless shot).

Does this answer the question? Researching my photos and reloacting them to host them has made me slightly light headed.....

Saturday, December 03, 2005


Reason: pictures

Trace Adkins has a new song. It's playing now, if you hadn't noticed. As a slight service to those who enjoy a nice "badonkadonk", I present to you the lyrics to this song along with a few visuals between verses and chorus marks and bridges (as found on Cowboylyrics.com - I do not take responsibility for wrong or mispelled or misplaced lyrics)....

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk

Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left

Husslers shootin' eightball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain't gotta hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)


And now, for a promise to Trashman, I hand off two pictures of me, President Trashman '08's Secretary of UnderCover Affairs and two of my outfits that will be worn when he takes office and I snag my own desk (to hide under *wink*)....

(sorry dears, that *IS* a thong peeking out)

Friday, December 02, 2005

....is killing me via my ulcer.

See what I'm dealing with? This is actually LESS THAN ONE FOURTH of what I've left to do--by tomorrow!! *faints*

There is talk of extending my contract through Tuesday, and possibly even to next Friday, but to be honest, I'm quite tired of this place; they are unorganized, they don't take into account actual working time, and they can't/refuse to give me a definitive date on when I'll be free to move off to another company. I'm about to do what Mike did and say "Screw it, I'm starting my new job Monday!"

Only problem is I don't have a new job. Each place I send my resume either trashes it for lack of degree or refuses it because I can't give a definitive date on when I can start.

And no new job means I can't get that place, which means no rest for me. Which means this ulcer that's acting up right now and causing my stomach to refuse practically everything I swallow will only get worse.

An idea just struck; y'all wanna help my apartment search? Better yet, does anyone own or know someone who owns a home in the FAR NORTH Dallas area that would be willing to rent to me for a decent price?


On an unrelated note:
Seeing as I'm here for a few days and that's it, would it be worth it to bring in a brand new box of tissue for my desk?

They just fucking changed the design AGAIN!!!
This machine is due to be shipped MONDAY AT 7:30am and we don't even have it completely designed, we are STILL adding parts and numbers and WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A SAFE WAY TO KEEP THE LID OPEN!

'scuse me while I go scream my frustrations.

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